Andrea Huls
1 min readFeb 2, 2021

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Small acts of violence towards women often go unnoticed. I remember when I was a waitress at a 5-star hotel and a drunk customer slapped my ass. I told my manager about it. She didn't ask him to leave. How could she? He was a paying customer, and I, just an employee. She told me to switch with a male colleague, who took over the table.

When I've told the story I've been asked what was I wearing. erm... my uniform? Pants, a vest, and a button-up shirt? Why does it matter what I was wearing? A man touches a woman without her consent and it's her fault?

This is not the only time I've faced sexist microaggressions. Yet, when I speak openly about them, I come across as the angry feminist who is anti-men. Which, of course, could not be further from the truth.

Because these microaggressions are so frequent our desensitized society shrugs them off.

Speaking up, complaining, and sharing our experience can help others realize that there are many forms of violence, none of which should be acceptable.

Thank you for sharing. I too would have given away the clothes, not knowing who had them or for what purpose. It was an invasion of your privacy. From what you've shared here, you no longer felt safe doing your laundry where you lived. You no longer felt safe living at your apartment. That should have not been the case.

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Andrea Huls

Writer, documentary filmmaker, photographer, feminist, mother, and much more.