Hi Anne-Sophie, thank you so much for sharing your story. It's so important for mothers (and fathers) to share their experiences.
I live in Spain, and I joined a postpartum mom group set up by my local healthcare provider. I thought I would make new friends, find my tribe so to speak. However, I quickly realized that just because I was in a group with other women who had become mothers, that didn't automatically make us friends. It didn't mean we were experiencing the same things.
There are, of course, things about motherhood that are universal. Most of us face challenges, have arguments with their partners, feel exhausted, etc.
However, I didn't bond with them. I felt terribly alone.
In my case, it's not that I didn't feel numb. I felt too much. I felt fear, and anxiety. Furthermore, I cried a lot. I felt like I was doing a terrible job. I kept thinking I made a mistake bringing a child to this horrible world. I was terrified of going outside because wherever I looked I saw danger.
There's this expectation that new moms must feel super happy and overwhelmed with joy! Your dream just came true! There's no reason to be sad!
Just two months after my son was born, the pandemic blew up, and I found myself locked up at home doing the same thing every day. I love my son, with my entire being, however, motherhood was nothing like I had pictured.
With therapy and medication, I also began feeling better.
Moms of the world need all the support and love they can get. We can do with more empathy, compassion, and encouragement.
My experience doesn't invalidate someone else's and vice versa. If another mother is having the best time as a new mom, I'm happy for her! And if another woman is feeling pain as she navigates this new chapter, I feel for her and send her my love.