The first thing I want you to know is this: you are doing an amazing job. You are the best mom for your baby.
If you need to cry, cry. Let the tears wash over you, you’ll feel relieved. They will stop eventually, you’ll see. This is absolutely normal. I cried a lot the first two weeks, and slowly, I started feeling more like myself again.
If there are instances when you feel you are too nervous, put your baby down or give them to your partner. Take a few deep breaths. You can do this. There is no place your baby rather be than in your arms. Your baby has known you for months. They know your smell and the sound of your voice. If you sing to your baby it might also help you calm down.
I’m sorry to hear you have mastitis, I have not experienced it myself, but I do know from other moms how painful it is. Try applying cold packs on your breasts, get plenty of rest too.
You can still make breastfeeding work. Some children are born with
labial frenulum which makes it difficult for them to latch on to the breast. Is there a professional you could talk to? If breastfeeding doesn’t work, don’t beat yourself up. Breastfeeding should never be painful or stressful. There are numerous ways you can bond with your baby.
Be proud of yourself and trust yourself! You’ll get through this :)