Go away. Go away.
I repeat. Go away.
Please leave me alone.
I try to rationalize a feeling that is not rational.
What does anxiety feel like?
I’m paralyzed by her.
Whenever I wake up, I hope that she’s gone.
But, I feel her.
I feed her. I feed her my fears, my nightmares.
She thrives when I’m scared.
I have no control.
I set daily goals. Smiling is an accomplishment.
Jut because you don’t see her… or don’t hear her
She is real.
There are all these things I want to do.
The more I worry about them, the bigger she gets.
Another day goes by, what have I done?
Am I closer to my goals? Closer to success? Closer to happiness?
She’s my inner judge.
When will I be good enough?
What do I need to prove?
Each day, I feel that I have failed.
I’m not where I think I should be.
I’m not who I thought I could be.
© Andrea Huls Pareja. All Rights Reserved.