Being your mom is the greatest gift.
I can’t believe a year has passed since you were born. I remember every minute of that day. Giving birth to you is one of the most beautiful moments I have ever experienced.
The weeks before going into labor, I was anxious something would go wrong. I thought a lot about the fragility of life. I thought about how in just a few seconds, I could lose you. I already loved you so much. I wanted to protect you and make sure you were and would be okay.
All worries aside, I was excited to meet you. I had dreamt about you, time and time again.
When I finally had you in my arms, skin to skin, a wave of feelings washed over me. I had never been so scared and happy at the same time.
You’ve changed my life for the better.
Many people told me that parenting would be hard. It’s a hundred percent true. Being a mom is tough. And yet, it’s all so worth it: the sleepless nights, the back pain, the sore nipples, the changes in my body. I would do it all again because seeing you grow the most beautiful privilege.
You’re my miracle. I knew you’d change my life, but I didn’t realize just how much.
You are teaching me a great deal about myself. You’ve opened up a new side of me, and for that, I’ll always be grateful. Becoming your mom is one of the most incredible things that has happened to me.
I want to be a better person and someone worthy of you.
I want to make you proud and earn your love and respect. To succeed, I have a lot of work ahead of me.
You show me how to be more present. For you, now, is all there is. You’re not worried about the past nor the future. I want to be as connected with the present as you are. I want to stop worrying about a work report or the grocery shopping list or a load of laundry or so many other things. I want to enjoy my time with you because it will go by fast.
By being your mom, I’ve begun to look at my childhood with new eyes. Being your mom is helping me heal some of the deepest and most painful of my wounds.
By giving you unconditional love, I’m giving you the love I wish I had received from my father.
I know I was loved as a kid. However, how we show love to each other matters. Your grandpa believed that tough love would make me a better person. He believed screams and spanking were the only way to teach me discipline. He thought that by setting high standards, I would reach them. He set me up for disaster.
As a child, I wanted was to feel like I was enough, and to this day, I don’t feel like I am. But you, my darling, you are enough. You are more than enough.
I will not follow in my father’s footsteps. Instead, I will work hard to connect with you, actively listen to you, and empathize with you. I will not try to change who you are. This much I can promise you.
I will make mistakes; I will. And I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me.
Watching you grow is a gift, and I’ll do my best to do right by you.
Who you are
You’re a curious little human, unstoppable and adventurous. You’re the most active baby I have ever met.
You try to stay awake as much as possible as if you’re going to miss out on the world by falling asleep.
You dislike getting your diaper changed and have no issue letting me know just how much you dislike it. You kick and turn, and at times, crawl away from me.
You let me know when I’m not fully present by doing things you’re not supposed to. (Like pulling the plant’s leaves)
You love books, and we spend plenty of time reading together. One of the books you like the most is “The Very Hungry Caterpillar,” but lately, we’ve been reading “Good Night Moon” a lot more.
You want to play with everything that isn’t a toy, and sometimes, I have to say no to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. You don’t like me much when I do it, but it’s part of my job.
One of the things you like most is putting objects inside the laundry basket, a box, or any other container. But you also really like emptying things, like the kitchen drawers.
You eat like a champ. Soups, strawberries, blueberries, broccoli, banana, home-made applesauce, and oatmeal are just a few of the things you like to eat. True to your nature, you want to eat on your own, without mommy’s help, even if that means getting food on you, on me, on the floor, and the wall.
Bath time is usually your time with your dad, and I like watching you both from the door.
He frequently makes you burst into laughter and is the perfect playmate.
Dad has a talent for getting you to fall asleep and helping you relax.
Both of us are doing our very best. We both read a lot on parenting, but we also follow our hearts and our instinct.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for choosing me as your mom.
Thank you for changing my life.
Thank you for being you.
I love you; I love you; I love you.